friendship, it's hard

via*

I long for the days when friendship was easy.
Seeing your 'best friend' (or friends, if you were lucky) in the school yard every day,
or living with them throughout your college years (until you realised that his lack of personal hygiene or her all-night-long sexual encounters were never ideal for communal living!)
those were the days when friendships were easy.

Abandoned more times than I'd like to share.
Scarred and broken,
a little more weary, a little less trusting.

Yet with so much love and companionship,
to give, to share, to express.
But it's all too hard now;
now that I know the pain of love lost, of friendships sunk.

Now, I build walls and mask myself.
It's easier and safer,
but it's lonelier.

Lonelier,
than ever.

*my younger, more trusting and a little too naive self. 'Sarah' by Kiara Cheetham, 2008

being present // two

There's nothing quite like taking stock to keep you in the present. Simply put, this is life as we know it, right now.

Making : a 'scrap book' filled with inspiring interiors, a mood board of sorts, for everything I...and we, desire for our future homes (am I the only one who stills tears pages out of glossy lifestyle magazines and catalogues and files them away in notebooks?)
Cooking : a nourishing breakfast of light rye toast topped with my favourite sheeps fetta marinated in sun-dried tomatoes (okay, so not really Cooking, more like Assembling...)
Drinking : coffee! A delicious Single Origin from India with lightly textured organic almond milk. Yep, I'm a coffee wanker...but it's my job! 
Reading: Lonely Planet Canada, a wonderfully thoughtful Christmas gift from a close friend.
Wanting:this lust-worthy skirt in print 3 and this blanket in teal, for our bed
Looking: forward to the season change, something I never though this sunny Queensland, Summer-loving gal would say, but these 40°C are trying
Playing: Happy over and over and over again. How could you not be happy after experiencing such an awesome song?
Deciding: on what I should tell the hairdresser when I see her next. I know she wont like it when I say "keep the length"...
Wishing: we lived closer to our closest friends. A northern hemisphere migration couldn't come fast enough
Enjoying: the glow of candle light as I wait for the sun to rise
Waiting: for Sam to wake up...but she's pretty damn gorgeous while asleep
Liking: how Sam just woke up and summoned me back to bed for a snuggle
Wondering: what suburbs we should be looking at in Melbourne
Loving: all the signs of love I'm seeing in the world around me, possibly prompted by our upcoming 'wedding' anniversary
Pondering: how I will ever fulfil all the things on my 'I want to' list...  

*We apologise for this interruption to your current viewing as Sarah has to go to work*

*8 hours later...*

Considering: popping Sam on a plane bound for Maine, to visit a dear friend. Sometimes you just need to make a friends day a little brighter by surprising them with an impromptu visit
Watching: dark, ominous clouds engulfing the blue sky outside the window
Marvelling: at the miracle of life - so many beautiful people announcing the growth of their family or welcoming their wee bundles of joy into the world! 
Needing: a day off. I'm so thankful tomorrow is Sunday!
Smelling: the honey and goats milk treatment I slathered onto my hair last night in the hopes of taming this frizzy mop
Wearing: my usual 'just got home from work' attire, yoga pants and a mens tank, oh and the subtle scent of coffee grinds under my nails. Keepin it classy.
Following: this loved up couple as they marry their way across the globe
Noticing: how much my health has changed in the past 12 months - less pain and inflammation in my joints, better sight, strong nails and clear skin - a healthy lifestyle and positive outlook on life really does improve your health!
Knowing: this is our last Summer in this sunny state, reminding myself to not take these last few months for granted
Thinking: of what I should gift to Sam for our second anniversary. Cotton sheets, perhaps?
Admiring: the stunning creations of wood|GLASS designs  - oh those stunning chimes necklaces *sigh*
Sorting: through my feelings, purging foul thoughts and cleansing my heart of fear and 
Buying: nothing in particular. We're trying to limit unnecessary spending and build our savings back up after the flogging it got over the 'silly season'. 
Getting: excited and anxious about seeing our dreams coming to fruition
Bookmarking: the awesome website, Common Threads, launched by the equally awesome Sash of Inked in Colour. Make sure you bookmark this beautiful space too. You'll be glad you did!
Disliking: the painfully dry skin on my hands (any suggestions for natural and/or home made remedies for dermatitis and severely dry skin are welcome!)
Opening: way too many bills...and not enough pretty packages
Giggling: at the furbabies cleaning each other in a sort of 'licking circle' and getting upset at each other when the don't do it just right
Feeling: overwhelmed with love and admiration for my beautiful wife. She truly is my better half
xx

joining with Pip!

giving thanks

for happiness - from the bright warm sunshine creeping in through the window in the morning, whilst I'm snuggled up against Sam...to the flowers and vegetables sprouting up in our garden beds...the insanely hilarious people I work with who can make me smile in an instant...arriving home to an excited bunch fur-babies after a long day...preparing wholesome meals together and dancing around the kitchen in our underwear...to winding up the day as we started, cuddled up under a serape, listening to the cicadas song. 

for health - to see the colours of the world, to hear the songs of the birds, to feel the warm embrace of my loved ones, to taste the sweet, salty and tangy of the land and sea, to speak the words on my heart. 

for freedom - to education, to make mistakes, to speak my mind and express myself, to travel the world, to dream, to love, to live the life I desire.

for love - to give my love wholeheartedly and to open my heart to receiving the love of others, for the blessing of love on my life.


Most of all I am thankful for life.



What are you thankful for today? 

>> This time last year.
 

like a bear

 I feel like a bear coming out from hibernation.


Slowly. Gently.

Slowly gaining a strength, a hunger.

Gently willing myself to re-emerge, to explore, to connect, again.

My mind and body are foggy and a little tense.

This past winter has taken its toll on me, in all aspects of my life.
I'm taking my time. Building myself up again. Finding my groove and clearing my head.

Spring is the perfect time for a clearing out the crap and giving everything a little scrub - my mind, body and soul are in dire need of a good purge and polish!
Warm sunshine and perfumed breezes make for a rejuvenating remedy to this melancholy.

This little space of mine is going to get its own spring clean too - perhaps a new look, definitely some new content. I'll chat about all this next time, but be prepared for a change.  
I need it. xx

Spring at Home

foraged flowers // bottle brush, banksia, spiraea, wax flower, showy herb & an about-to-bloom 'pig face' succulent

Well, by now I'm sure we're all aware that Spring is here in the Southern Hemisphere.
Much to my relief, she moved in a little earlier this year, prompting us to thaw out our wintry bodies with extra-long afternoon walks, foraging for blooms and dipping our toes in the cool lake whilst Tiger barks at the water.

Right now I am sitting in the sunshine sipping iced coffee, listening to the tinkling sound of ice against glass and lorikeets playing in the gum trees. Every now and again my phone flashes on as I receive sweet messages and updates from Sam.
She left early this morning with a few muso friends to attend Big Sound; a music industry conference, held annually in Brisbane. A last minute decision, which has taken us both by surprise, yet I'm certain she will enjoy herself immensely! We have spent very little time apart since our wedding just over 18 months ago, and we like it that way, so even a couple of nights apart is daunting. I'm not embarrassed to say that I'm feeling very alone without my right-hand gal.

This afternoon I'll pay a visit to the nursery to pick up a few essentials for our Spring vegie garden.We have plans to begin planting a few peas, beans and tomato seedlings (and perhaps some strawberries too?) in the coming days and get our herb garden thriving again after they were all knocked out by the frost. We've decided to allocate a bare section of our front garden to growing our vegetables this season as we haven't had any luck in our courtyard and as much as I'd like to turn our back yard into a plot, I don't trust Tiger or our neighbours dogs (we share a yard) to not eat anything we plant out there.
For now I'm content with just a handful of plants that I know will thrive and bring us joy to eat.

The sunshine and fresh air has brought with it the overwhelming desire to purge the clutter and clean the grime that has accumulated over the past months from every surface in our home. Slowly, over the coming weeks and months, we'll tick tasks of our mental to-do lists; wash windows, clear cobwebs, scrub sinks and benches, cupboards and doors. We'll leave the windows open to air out each room, burn sage and light beeswax candles.
Most of all I'm looking forward to clearing each room, closet and drawer of unnecessary and unwanted items. The less we have to pack, the better. Yes, pack. Not any time in the immediate future. But more on that next time.


So, what are you loving about Spring? 
The abundance of flowers, the fresh air, sundresses and sandals or homemade picnics?  
or our Northern friends, what are loving about Autumn/Fall?  
Are the leaves turning yet or are you still enjoying the last of a beautiful Summer?

"...with her love for the markets."

I'm not a snoop, I promise.
Her Facebook chat was already open. I promise.
But this is what I discover:

And it's true. I do love the farmers market. Rain or shine, we're there.

Sunday morning, as the sunlight begins to creep into our dark bedroom, I wake Sam with as much enthusiasm as a child on Christmas morning. I rise, brew coffee for our journey, wake Sam again*, get dressed, prepare our totes & bags, make sure Sam is definitely awake & dressed, & then we're off!

In Spring & Summer, the mornings are warm & bright, the lanes are alive with buskers, & we're on the look out for fresh berries & ripe mangoes. The cooler months are all about the different varieties of pumpkin & squash. Dressed in our woolens & boots, we meander to-and-fro throughout the stalls, coffee in one hand, fresh baked treats in the other.

Sunday is a special day for me. It's familiar rhythm is comforting, yet each is different from the last. The market is just one element of a rejuvenating & reverent day, for me. The perfect beginning to my favourite day.


And so, I'm off to bed! Enjoy your Sunday, wherever you are! xx

* Sam is not a morning person, so it takes a few goes to get her up & out of bed, especially in Winter. She must love me ;)

An Unexpected Hiatus

Life has been quite mundane around these parts. Slow. Simple. Just...normal life.

I wake early, like usual.
I rise quietly & slowly out from under the covers, so as not to wake my love, like usual.
I slide into my $3 mens slippers & tip-toes from our dark bedroom in the brightly lit kitchen, & begin my morning ritual.
I fill the kettle & pop it on whilst I grind coffee beans. I arrange two espresso glasses & two milk jugs on a bamboo tray, pour cows milk into one pourer & almond milk into the other. As the kettle boils, I spoon fresh grounds into the glass vessel & pour the hot water over. As the press is placed on the tray, brewing , I add two slices of bread to the toaster. Four minutes is all it takes to mix together a ripe avocado, the juice of half a lime, a few thinly sliced shallots & a sprinkle of chilli flakes, then the toast is adorned with its simple spread & placed alongside the rest. All, as usual.
I collect the tray & make my way back to bedroom, pulling back the drapes as I climb into bed, like usual.
I pour milk & coffee into the glasses, placing one on my bedside. I then gently coax Sam awake*, often passing the glass beneath her nose, allowing the scent of fresh coffee waft over her & cause her to wake.
I turn on the idiot box (aka the television) & flick to the morning news, like usual.
And then the coffee is served. We talk about the flavour, colour & scent, where the beans came from & who roasted them (can you tell we love it?). We enjoy our coffee, slowly.

This is my morning ritual. I know it well & I like it that way. No matter the day, hectic or lazy, work day or weekend, I find comfort & a sense of calm in the rhythm it creates.
Yet there's been a part of my daily rhythm that I've neglected been missing the past few weeks - this part right here.

I can hardly believe I've been away for so long. I really hadn't intended to.
I think I just needed those few extra moments to just be. To sit & drink my coffee, without photographing it because the light in perfect or because it triggered a long forgotten childhood memory about that time that something happened. Enough time for me to breath. To unwind. To remind myself why this humble space exists. All in all, the distance has made my heart grow fonder.

So, I guess this is my unofficial-official way of saying "Honey, I'm home! I'm sorry I was gone so long, I missed you. Let's grab a couple beers, relax on the couch & chat a while." 

xx

Currently...

Just as I thought our days were getting quieter & simpler, things have become...hectic. It's really the only word to describe it.
I'm awake early & in bed late. I'm drinking coffee by the gallon & have worn the same jeans/tee/beanie combo for the past 3 days. I have been away from this space for much longer than I wish & have missed dearly, yet I have not had the words, nor the mental capacity, to express it all. Life just gets hectic at times, hey?
So, this is what's happening currently...
 
* Although Autumn came late & the leaves took a while to turn & fall, Winter is truly here upon the mountain - frosty, foggy & drizzly days have become the norm, as have woolens & electric blankets.

* Sweater dresses, $3 mens slippers & brightly-coloured rugs...need I say more?

* Like I said earlier, I'm living on coffee at the moment. French press at breakfast, espresso in the evening & my favourite "standard fairtrade organic soy latte with agave to takeaway, please". 
(I also realise there's nothing 'standard' about that order.)

* My favourite part of Monday - making homemade stock. Sunday's roast chicken becomes 3litres of healthy, herb-spiked stock, & the leftovers are added to a multitude of meals - paprika chicken, spicy dumplings, rice paper rolls or a good ol' chicken & chilli toastie.

* My day-off looks like this: in bed, knitting, watching The Block, drinking coffee, chatting about babies/wall colours/travel, all whilst enjoying the heart-warming company of my sweet little family. Bliss.

* Winter evenings, we burn beeswax candles in the kitchen & bedroom, & light jars of tealights in the bathrooms.

* Although chilly, Winter has brought with her some magnificent blue skies & beautiful sunsets. It's at this time of the day that mind is open & clear. I find myself pondering life & dreaming of what the future has in store. It's also at this time of year that I begin thinking of what I want to achieve in the coming months - the solstice is nearing & we're reaching the midpoint. Time for lists, plans & lots of talks.

 

* We've celebrated both our birthdays in the past week - Sam on the 6th & mine just yesterday. It's a bit wonderful to share & enjoy this time together. Nothing extravagant, just quality time & a couple of special treats. The cake Sam baked for me last night has to be one of the highlights - doughnut-shaped with plenty of nutmeg, cinnamon & vanilla, plus raspberry coulis & the best white choc & raspberry icecream. Yum!  

PS. Happy Birthday, lady! xx

So, how are you?
What's happening with you currently?
Please tell me your life gets a little hectic too...?
xx

Farewell, Autumn

Autumn, it is foreign for me to admit, I adored thee.

I have wholeheartedly embraced you for what you are; gold & ruby hued, with blue-grey light & a still, fresh air. I have boiled a pot of tea in your early morn, lit a candle upon your dusk.
You have blessed us with your pressence.

I can honestly say, I will miss you, Autumn.



More Autumnal Reading
Seasonal Treasures  
Autumnal Inspirations  
So, is this how it's going to be, Autumn?

Only Time Will Tell

Oh, time. I am both lacking & swimming in it.

I find myself running behind, mostly due to poor time-management, yet at the same time I feel as if I'm living a life beyond my years.

Life is changing at the moment - a new job has welcomed a change in the way I use my time. Where I used to have multiple opportunities in a day to read & write, I now find myself grasping for a single opportunity to lose myself in your worlds & reminisce upon my own.

We live simply & quietly here, though our lives are chaotic.
I rise with the sun, slowly waking my body, in the calm of those early hours. I enjoy my morning coffee, slowly, take my time dressing & mentally preparing myself for the day ahead. I leave my home, & am instantly bombarded by an overwhelming feeling of haste in the world. The pressure to be on time, deliver on time, make time to do, & somehow magically create extra time is intense.
I often feel as though I am struggling to keep my head above water as I fight my way through this insanely demanding world.
I do not choose this chaos, in fact I try wholeheartedly to cultivate peace in our home & lives.

It is at home where I find myself thinking the most about time. The time I spend at home is treasured, as I spend much of my day either at work or sleeping. I am utterly exhausted by the time I knock off work, & am often found lazing on the couch or curled up in bed winding down from the days events. I know this is only a temporary situation & I am in the midst of researching my way out of this insane schedule - a way for Sam & I to work collaboratively & creatively.
For now, I will work long & hard to give my family everything they need - a roof over our heads, wholesome food in our bellies & an abundance of love in our hearts - it's the love that really motivates me to make the best use of my time.

When I'm not working or sleeping or enjoying life's simple pleasures, I am thinking toward the future. An abundance of time which awaits our presence. I often daydream of what our futures will bring us - a growing family, an comfortable lifestyle with plenty of laughter & joy - a beautiful existence, I hope.
I adore my youth, as it brings with it an expansive future. I cannot comprehend what time has in store, yet I am excited & curious for what awaits me - for what awaits all of us, really.
Life is an incredible adventure - one which I am both terrified of & eagerly anticipate!

This has taken many hours to write, over many days. Time which could have been spent cleaning or painting or baking, perhaps just enjoying a moment with my love. Yet I enjoy the time I have taken to weave these words & express my feelings. It is worth my while...

Just now, I have spilt a full glass of water on the floor beside me - shattered glass & pool of liquid need attending to. Just another task which requires my time, I guess. I could have spent the next 5 minutes exploring your world or tending to Appa's persistent itch.
This is just another one of those moments that reminds me to be thankful & live purposefully in the time I have. In the words of J.Mason; "As every thread of gold is valuable, so is every moment of time."

See those beautiful proteas up there - my exceptionally beautiful love took the time to buy them for me. She knows exactly which stall to get them from at the markets (believe me, there's a difference!) & the perfect spot to display them (right outside our bedroom door, so I can enjoy their beauty as I wake & fall asleep.)
She is the best.
* Linking with the delightful Lou  at her Little Green Shed . Won't you join us?
 

 

The One With The Bravery Award

This week, our youngest had a date with the vet - time for 'the snip'. She was an absolute trooper.
Sam & I on the other hand, well, one word:
pathetic.


We were nervous wrecks throughout the day; pottering around the house & keeping our hands busy to distract from our nervousness, constantly checking our phones for calls from the vet, & doting on Appa & Tig as much as possible, for we knew much of our attention would be focused upon Quinn in the evening.

By the time that call came, we were beyond ready for our (fur)baby to come home. Our house felt empty without that boisterous ginger cat.
We jumped in the car, & made the short drive to the vet centre. Naturally, we were ecstatic when they brought her out - still groggy & tired from the days events, she looked so small & fragile, in need of much tender loving care. She was even gifted her own 'Bravery Award' for being such a good patient (naturally, as a proud mama, I was beaming) . We listened to the vet's recommendations, "plenty of rest" & "don't let her race around/climb things/play rough", & booked her for a check-up in 10 days time. We were farewelled with smiles & well-wishes, then home we went.

The caring, restful & healing world of the vet centre was a stark difference to what we were met with as we entered our home - & it all started with Appa.
Quinn obviously smelt different, even we noticed the 'sterile' scent, yet to Appa, her 'little sister' was a completely different cat. There was hissing, yowling & scratching. Sam & I soon clued in, & separated the two for a while.
We just weren't as prepared for the next heart-breaking instalment. (Although, thinking back to it all now, I should have trusted my instincts. Oh, retrospect!) 

We had a siesta in the late afternoon so we could keep Quinn company as she slept off the anaesthetic. I hadn't long dozed off when I realised Sam had climbed into the bed, hugging me from behind, & I felt warm tears rolling down my neck. I groggily asked if she was okay, with a soft, shaky reply, "No...I think Quinn hates me."
After several minutes of uncontrollable tears, Sam regaled to me how she had tried to stroke Quinn, but she would walk away - for my girl & her cat this was incredibly unusual, in fact the absolute opposite of their relationship (seriously, these two are almost inseparable!*). I could see the pain in her eyes, & it broke my heart. 
I put my 'grown-up/show no fear' pants on, & explained that Quinn didn't couldn't hate her, & to give it time - meanwhile I was worried it might be true. I thought for sure Quinn would find comfort in Sam. I feared we had made a huge mistake, & it brought me to tears too. We settled back into the bed; I sat, stroking Sam's hair as she slept, before falling asleep myself.

Fast forward several hours, & we were teary again, as Quinn greeted us with nose rubs & loud purrs. She sat atop Sam's chest for an hour, switching between licking her nose & 'padding' her stomach.
Obviously all she needed was time & space. No longer moody, she played with Appa - who had finally realised it was her beloved - & let Tig groom her. We were back to playing happy family!


Now if you've been reading here for a while (...or even a week) you'd know that our animals mean the world to Sam & I. I mean, seriously they are our babies, & we're unashamed to admit it.
I'm overwhelmed by the love I have for each of these quirky creatures, & the affection I receive in return. I can hardly imagine the love I could have for a child - hundredfold?!
Quite honestly, it baffles me.


 As I write, Sam & Quinn are snuggled up beside me, both breathing heavily & deep in slumber.
All is well in our home again.


 * Sam raised Quinn from a tiny 3-week old kitten found outside the old theatre; obviously abandoned by her mother, she was cold, damp & barely able to walk - I doubt she would have survived alone.
Sam would get up every two hours to feed & clean the kitten - needless to say they have an incredibly strong bond.

The Week That Was...3/3/13 (plus a bitch & moan)

1. early morning coffee times. ps. we totally recommend this coffee machine for those days when you want a great coffee but are feeling a little too lazy to grind your own beans (or you even want something better than instant) - we've been having a few of those morning lately. & it's a very reasonable price!
2. delicious buckwheat pancakes with cinnamon apples , fresh lemon, maple syrup & greek yoghurt - head over to Bella's blog for the recipe.
3. the last (visible) sunset of Summer - it's been raining up on the mountain since Tuesday. I miss blue sky & sorbet-hued sunsets!
4. a little peek at my clothes rack from the commercial shoot! Oh so many beautiful garments...just no money to buy them...yet ;)
5. fresh from the oven, Garlic & chives focaccia for mama's birthday.
6. our garden is water-logged...bad.
7. we planted chilli seeds this week - fingers crossed we'll see the first sprouts in the next 10-18 days!
8&9. it's finally chilly enough to justify dressing Tig in this adorable hoodie.
10. the best buddies to have when you're feeling as bloody bad as I do right now.

*Linking in with Em for Stills: A Weekly Collection

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WOW! What a week! It has been a roller-coaster ride, & not surprisingly I am sick as a dog at the end of it.  
Monday, was my mama's birthday, which I spent baking focaccia & a greek yoghurt, cinnamon & apple loaf (recipe to come!) to gift to her; 

Tuesday, I signed a contract for a new job, which should be exciting, right? Yet I'm feeling pretty under-whelmed about it all, & am thinking I'll keep looking for something that feels' right'. I'm picky when it comes to employment & I know I'm not going to be happy in this position for a long period of time, but right now we just need the money, as we're chewing through our savings . It's not fun when you can't even afford milk or toilet paper...;

Wednesday, I modelled/acted in the shooting of a commercial for a local shopping mall*. Nothing huge really, but it was a lot of fun & nice to be 'performing' again, working alongside my favourite stylist/friends & wearing some amazing ensembles;

Thursday, it rained all.fucking.day.long! Not just rain, but bucketing down rain with frosty, howling winds. I hate this kind of weather & it's put me in a horrible heinous mood ever since.

Friday...I can't even remember Friday. I was obviously deep within the aforementioned 'heinous mood'.

Saturday, a super lazy day, filled with reading your blogs & drinking chai. I was secretly wishing the hours away, as Sunday is my favourite day of the week & I was excited for our usual trip to the farmers market & coffee date afterwards. I had a siesta to try and rid myself of a throbbing headache, instead I awoke with a still throbbing head & scratchy throat. Either Autumn is making herself known, or my beloved Summer is punishing me for cheating.

We are now at the ass-end of Sunday and I feel like crap.
Let me just give you with a visual: there's used tissues littered across my nightstand, overflowing from my bin and scattered across the floor...and I don't care. So gross.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings. If you made it this far, I applaud you. It helps to get it out here (as I'm sure Sam is sick of listening to my moaning). Here's to hoping tomorrow is better! Good night friends! x

* If you are travelling to Toowoomba for the 'Easterfest' music festival over Easter weekend you will see my ugly mug up on the mainstage screens. *insert nervous laugh here*

So Is This How It's Going To Be, Autumn?

Well, Autumn has certainly made herself known here, upon the mountain.

With her she brought howling winds, thick fog and chilly rain, she prompted us to layer our cardigans with scarves, and throw an extra blanket on the bed. Pancakes with cinnamon-spiked apples and yogurt for breakfast, chai tea in steaming hot almond milk for lunch, and a pot of pumpkin soup for supper. The animals are revelling in our constant company, enjoying the warm interior and nothing on the agenda but sleep.

I promised myself I would give each season the welcome she deserved - lighting sweet beeswax candles and picking out my favourite 'seasonal' reads - my way of learning to love each for her unique ways.
Autumn has prompted fresh crusty loaves and baked sweets daily, an early dinner followed by an equally early retire. The closet has been rearranged to feature ankle boots and hooded coats, and the gumboots stand proudly by the door, awaiting our next adventure.

What I didn't expect for my appreciation was a throbbing head and scratchy throat, and I'm anticipating the runny nose is just round the corner. It's trying for me, a Summer-loving lass, to find joy in a season that has gifted me the dreaded lurgy.

So, as the sun sets on the second day of Autumn, I'm tucked up in bed with a hot cuppa and a good book, surrounded by my dear family.

Tomorrow is a new Autumn day, and I promise to give her all the appreciation I can muster - all I ask in return, is for a little more sunshine and a little less...well, snot.

Paper Love

Considering today is the day of love, I thought it appropriate to share with you a little of what Sam and I did on our first anniversary, a couple of weeks ago.

As a "good morning!" surprise for Sam, I scattered 'love notes' throughout the house...

After a relaxing morning, drinking coffees in bed and enjoying the unusually cool weather, we were met with a minor family crisis. We spent much of the afternoon and early evening driving through the country, dropping people here and there. By the time we arrived home, we were exhausted and longing for bed. Together we whipped up a quick pumpkin, beetroot and fetta pizza and an inventive cookie-dough-come-pudding for dessert. We were in bed and asleep well before midnight (which is incredibly unusual in our house).

We awoke the next day refreshed and excited to be spending the day, at home, together. We decided to extend our celebrations by creating a piece of art work for above our bed. Although we couldn't afford to do or buy much for this anniversary, it was the perfect gift to each other.

After scouring Pinterest for inspiration, I suggested a few ideas to Sam - all of which she loved - and we got to work creating a framed series, featuring a 'finger-print heart', for above our bed...

What do you think?

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Today has been very low key - plenty of pottering around the house, scouring Ikea catalogues in preparation for our next trip, and eating hot chips with our very first batch of home-made tomato sauce (all very romantic). There's no need for a dozen red roses or boxes of chocolates around these parts, just plain ol' 'lady love'!

 

Did you get up to anything special for Valentine's Day?  I hope you had a lovely day, no matter how you spent it or who with! xx

 

Simply, Enjoy ~

♫ Wet washing hanging on the line 
Drying very quickly when the weather’s fine 
Along comes the wind and blows it all about 
Flip flap flip flap blowing in and out ♫

Do you remember this ABC Play School song? I've been singing it all day as I catch up on some loooooong over due laundry. Seriously, it was beginning to pile up...and smell!

Dressed in my favourite vintage sundress and bare feet, I've been relishing in the fresh smell of clean linen and the feeling of springy grass underfoot. The soft 'flapping' sound of sheets and blankets blowing in the breeze.

Last weeks dreary weather reflected my equally dreary mood, and although still unemployed, I am choosing to simply, enjoy the present. The sunshine, gentle breezes, the ankle deep grass* in our backyard and a clean house. 

What are you simply enjoying (or enjoying simply) this week?

*last weeks rain + this weeks sunshine = 3 inches of new green grass...which now needs to be mown.

Wet Weather

Today has been miserable. 

Grey, cold & drizzly - the constant, pathetic, drizzly rain is the worst.
Confined indoors with windows closed and lights on, as it's dark like dusk.

We've spent the day in bed, still in our pyjamas, the cats & Tig curled up at the end.
Countless coffees & hot chocolates have been consumed, as well as fresh choc-chip muffins.
We skipped out on the morning news, opting for Private Practice & Friends reruns.

Stir-craziness comes easily - especially when I must forfeit my daily walk.
So, I picked up a couple of needles & a ball the colour of turquoise.

Keeping my fingers busy.
 

Under the Weather

We're feeling low and lethargic, here on the mountain top - there's coughing, sore throats and upset bellies.
Sam has taken it harder than I; even this mornings quick trip to the grocer for veggies and Butter Menthol's* has drained her energy and sent her back to slumber. I despise seeing her in pain, more so when I feel utterly useless, due to my own aching body, unable to even lift my hands to rub her back.

Although it's bright and warm outside, we've quarantined ourselves to the bedroom for lots of rest, recuperation, and Friends reruns. Soup is on the stove and jugs of ice water and lemon balm tea by the bedside.The windows have been flung open, willing fresh Spring air to clear away our ills.

Unfortunately, the rest of the world doesn't slow down with you when you're feeling 'off'. There's still dishes to wash, clothes to hang, floors to sweep...and (my least favourite) uni study to be done.
Maybe I'll leave it for tomorrow...


I hope all is well in your corner of the world,
x

PS. Over at The Beetle Shack, Em is having ANOTHER of her delightful giveaways! Bless her! 
I think all those goodies would help pep us up! Imagine soaking up sweet sunshine (& some good ol' Vit D!) whilst relaxing in that gorgeous hammock! *sigh*
GOOD LUCK

* I know they're super bad for you, but that warm honey flavour on a scratchy throat brings back memories of curling up on Mama's lap as a child and eating home-made chicken soup. I'm feeling better already.

Rainy Days*

Blustery winds and pouring rain has sent my mood south the past couple of days. Where, oh where has Spring gone?
In an attempt to cheer myself up today, I utilised the free wifi and savoured a hot soy chai at a local cafe. Between spicy sips of latte and catching up on some blog reading, I was able to relax and refocus. I soon forgot the terrible weather outside and enjoyed the warmth of indoors...and reminded myself that tomorrow is forecast for sunshine!

* Sam says I should call this post "Complainy Janey, Stuck in the Rainy!" because I called her on my way to the cafe to complain about how cold it was outside - She wasn't impressed.

On My Mind: Life

I am stuck in a rut. And I'm struggling to claw my way out.

Life is getting me down, of late. Money is getting me down. Study is getting me down. Work is getting me down. I feel a bit like a negative nancy; which is distressing for my (usually) overly optimistic mind.

Life.

It's too fast, but too slow. It's hectic and mundane all at the same time. I fear change, yet I'm itching for it!


We live a great life. Don't get me wrong. We have a roof over our heads, great food in our bellies, and are decently clothed (most of the time).
We go out to dinner/movies/shows/concerts. We have the company of our animals, our friends, our family. We enjoy trips away for the weekends (long over due at the moment!) and enjoy little luxuries every now and then. But I can't help but want something more.
Sometimes it's hard to stop yourself from wishing for more; more money, more time, more, more, more!

Recently we've been having financial troubles, and no matter how much of the good great stuff that we have, I can't help but moan over what we don't. Spending money on our sicky car, breaking things that we can't afford to replace, and spending money we've saved (for a vacation) on things we'd rather not have to spend money on (like the sicky car L).
And then I have what I like to call the 'third year woes', aka that dreaded feeling I get when I think about uni/someone asks "how's uni going?". Honestly, I'm a little over it, or at least some aspects of it. I should be finishing this semester, yet I've failed things and deferred things, and now I'm considering changing my degree all together. I'm no longer inspired. I need to stop reading about it and actually do it, yet I can't do it until I've studied it. I'm yearning to play and explore my creativity again. To create with my hands and my body and my voice. I miss performing. To get out in a stage or in front of the camera, and just perform! I need to get out of this city (which is feeling more like a tiny town the more I stay in it) and its backwards ways and create a life in a new, inspiring place. I don't know where, or even when, but I can feel the urges to build elsewhere. To get to know new people, new places and a new lifestyle.

I want a simpler life. A non-adult life. Not having to stress over things. For a little while at least. I vaugley remember it...I think I was still living at with my parents. Okay, so I don't want to live with my parents again, but I do yearn for that simplicity. No worries over rent/food/decent body coverings, just plain ol' enjoying life! Painting/taking photos/writing/reading/dancing/singing/performing when I wanted to, sleeping when I wanted to, eating when...well I still eat when I want to, but you get the idea.
I really just want some time getting back to what I enjoy most about life; photography, performing, going out, eating!, meditating, enjoying time with the people I love. More time outside, in the fresh air, exploring and finding inspiration.
I miss the carefree attitude I once had. I miss feeling like myself.

I'm hoping that the change of season will bring about a change in my life. Spring is all about new things.
A fresh start.
A fresh mind.

A fresh life.


~ thank you for reading my ramblings xx

Saying "goodbye"

Goodbye's are weird. Well, I  find goodbye's to be weird. I become weird, and awkward, and at times sad, or awkwardly sad when it's not really sad, and then there's the times when I should be sad but I can't muster any emotion, or the times when I'm even happy to say goodbye, which becomes weird and awkward again because it's not the happy kind of goodbye. You get it, right? 

In short, I'm not good at the "goodbye". 

On Sunday, we had a sad/awkward/happy/sad again/relieved-that-it's-finally-over kind of goodbye.

It was hard, but it was always going to happen. 

We said goodbye to the kittens. 

These rumbley-tumbley, soft and cuddly, blue-eyed, little kittens that have been a part of our lives for the past 11 weeks. From two tiny kittens, completely dependant upon their mama (Appa) to these boisterous, meowing, stalking and pouncing, getting in/on/under everything creatures that never ceased to make our day incredibly entertaining/frustrating/expensive/exhausting, but most of all, loved.

They became such a part of our household, that it was hard to remember how things were before...and we always knew this day would come, we'd just hoped it wouldn't come so fast. 

It was a rough day. It started with an argument and finished with Pancake Manor.

Neither of us had talked much about how we were feeling about giving the kittens away, rather busying ourselves with buying toys, blankets and food for them, and planing the long trip up the coast to their new home. We were snippy at each other all morning, until it all erupted in an emotion filled yelling match, which led to me storming off in a huff and Sam finding me bare-bummed and crying on the toilet. We couldn't help but laugh at ourselves. We finally chatted about our sadness of the impending goodbye, then dressed, packed the car, plugged in the iPod and set off. 

The trip was filled with sing alongs, kitten cries and beautiful scenery. When we finally reached the coast, the salty air was welcoming and the sunshine made my heart happy. It made our parting a little easier. We played a little and said our goodbyes. We were happy. They were in a loving home. 

On the way up the mountain to home, we stopped at the Pancake Manor in Ipswich. 

Dessert for dinner :)

 *all photos by Sam

We were exhausted, emotionally and physically, as we pulled into the drive at 10pm. We were greeted at the door by a very happy dog and two meowing cats, and we realised that this is our family, in our home. 

 //"Man's feelings are always purest and most glowing in the hour of meeting and of farewell."// Jean Paul Richter//

PS. I have to apologise for breaking my promise to write on Monday...it's now 1am on Thursday :( Note to self: Must be more present!

PPS. The routine is going okay. We've been walking Tig regularly (she even sits at the back door at 5pm, patiently waiting.) I haven't been getting up much earlier than usual (maybe because I'm still awake at 1am?) or drinking much tea, but being more active is a step in the right direction. 

I've just got to change my routine a little at a time.

AND! If you happen to stumble across here this month, head over here to enter the Sole Society/The Beetle Shack giveaway! Good Luck! x