laying bare // i . can . breathe

Honestly, it’s a sigh of relief.

It’s the exhale of air from deep within, which has been hanging in your chest – and weighing on your mind - for far too long now.

It’s the feeling of breathlessness and being able to breathe again, all in one.

I feel breathless, yet a can breathe.

I can breathe.

I.  Can. Breathe.

I can breathe, yet I can’t weep.

To let that first tear fall is almost too much.

Too much, too soon.

Too real.

And I can feel it again – that tense and tight movement in my chest, willing me to hold my breath.

To hold it, so I don’t weep.

Don’t weep.

It’s all I tell myself.

Don’t weep. Do not weep.

But you take that breath.

And you weep.

Your mind is overcome by the emotion of it all, so you just weep.

The body shakes, the heart breaks.

And then, you breathe.

***

It was the phone call that I knew was coming. "It could be days or weeks", but I knew it would be here before too long. 

And it's funny, because you almost seem to know that this is the call. When I saw the screen light up, I just knew.

Being semi-estranged from your family does that, I guess. You assume that most news, is bad news. 

Perhaps, 6:30am was really the giveaway? 

Shirley Alison Thomson, you were one special lady. 

Strong-willed and opinionated you wore the pant(y-hose) for sure, and no one looked better in coral lipstick than you.

Though that terrorizing, fucking nasty disease was much more than you deserved, I will hold dear those memories of one splendidly-batty old woman - who stashed (and forgot about) several McDonald's Whipped Butters in her purse, almost had had us headed on an express train for Hervey Bay, and swore that she was "not old enough to have children" at her husbands 70th Birthday party. Your mind was unkind to you, and perhaps we could have done more. Understood more, sympathised more. 

Now, you suffer no more.

So, here we are. One less in this clan. 

Almost 3 years to the day, since we lost Papa,

your darling gentleman. 

May you be at peace. Together again.

laying bare // a reminder

"sometimes you can't see yourself clearly, until you see yourself through the eyes of others" 

- Ellen DeGenerous 

I have received several rather honest, heartfelt and deeply humbling emails lately. 

Their authors, from across land and sea, took precious time to write of their own life. They shared their highs and lows with me, and somewhere in each of their sentiments they had very kind (and very humbling) words to share about me. I guess I never realized my words, my images and my 'story' had an impact on others. 

Honestly, much of sharing my life online comes from a pretty self-satisfying (read: mildly narcissistic) place. I enjoy the creativity, the community and the never-ending inspiration. I guess I never really imagined that what I shared could actually be that inspiration for others. 
Simply put, I now see myself in a new light. Rather than taking, taking, taking from this community, I hope to give a little hope and happiness back. No matter your circumstances, your lifestyle - your past present or future - your story and your words mean so much to me. 

I captured this image of myself last night; after work, just before I jumped in the shower. Covered in coffee grounds and sweat, with smeared makeup and a nice new pimple forming on my cheek. I am reminded that external beauty isn't what's most important in my life, nor is it what those people recognised in their words to me. This image is a reminder to myself to continue to lay it all bare. 

A beautiful mind and soul will always be more desirable than external beauty alone.


This image and my words were originally posted via my instagram account - I want to share it here also, as this is were it all originated. You, my readers, the beautiful souls that come here, to share in life with me, are the reason for this revelation. Thank you for your blessed words and sincere companionship. It truly means the world. xx 

friendship, it's hard

via*

I long for the days when friendship was easy.
Seeing your 'best friend' (or friends, if you were lucky) in the school yard every day,
or living with them throughout your college years (until you realised that his lack of personal hygiene or her all-night-long sexual encounters were never ideal for communal living!)
those were the days when friendships were easy.

Abandoned more times than I'd like to share.
Scarred and broken,
a little more weary, a little less trusting.

Yet with so much love and companionship,
to give, to share, to express.
But it's all too hard now;
now that I know the pain of love lost, of friendships sunk.

Now, I build walls and mask myself.
It's easier and safer,
but it's lonelier.

Lonelier,
than ever.

*my younger, more trusting and a little too naive self. 'Sarah' by Kiara Cheetham, 2008

laying bare // to breathe, to weep

Last night, I lay naked in the bottom of the shower, legs up the wall in Viparita Karani, weeping into my damp and knotted bird-nest of hair*. Surrounded by a steady stream of tiny droplets, cocooning me in a warm embrace, my own salty tears mimicking their waterfall, I realised I am fragile.

I can admit to more trial and heartbreak in my short existence thus far than many would come across in a lifetime - and I understand that, this is my life story and I wouldn't want it any other way. This life has shaped and formed me into the person I am. Yet, it was in that moment of relentless tears that I realised, I am not yet at peace with my past. I understand it and accept it, for it is the past and there is no undoing, but my future is mine to own.

I am unsure how to be truly at peace with all that has hurt and broken me, though something within tells me that beginning here - with the words in my mind and a blank page before me -healing will come. From a supportive and insightful community, healing will come.

Healing will come. Breathe. Healing, will come.

xx

*Now try getting that image out of your head. My apologies.

 ///

 Laying Bare is a collection of my most heartfelt emotions and inner thoughts. An raw recount of my past or a glimpse into my dreams for our future. Fear is shed, honesty uplifted and love is shared, in abundance.

farewell

2013, you have been a trying one, a joyous one, a memorable one.

Thank you for your blessings and your lessons. For the friendships formed, strengthened and those which we had the courage to leave behind. Thank you for the love, the health, the laughter and the utterly wonderful memories.

2014, I am ready. I am excited.

............................................................................................................

May your new years eve be simply beautiful. Take a moment to breathe, reminisce and be truly thankful for all that this year has blessed us with. Ring in the new year well, with those you love and that love you. Let's catch up again tomorrow!

All our love and good wishes for the new year!

Sar, Sam (& the fur babies!) xx

picking up & dusting off 

happy anniversary, lady 
it's okay, it's only me 
only time will tell 
one 
laying bare // the black sheep 
sunflowers and sunshine

giving thanks

for happiness - from the bright warm sunshine creeping in through the window in the morning, whilst I'm snuggled up against Sam...to the flowers and vegetables sprouting up in our garden beds...the insanely hilarious people I work with who can make me smile in an instant...arriving home to an excited bunch fur-babies after a long day...preparing wholesome meals together and dancing around the kitchen in our underwear...to winding up the day as we started, cuddled up under a serape, listening to the cicadas song. 

for health - to see the colours of the world, to hear the songs of the birds, to feel the warm embrace of my loved ones, to taste the sweet, salty and tangy of the land and sea, to speak the words on my heart. 

for freedom - to education, to make mistakes, to speak my mind and express myself, to travel the world, to dream, to love, to live the life I desire.

for love - to give my love wholeheartedly and to open my heart to receiving the love of others, for the blessing of love on my life.


Most of all I am thankful for life.



What are you thankful for today? 

>> This time last year.
 

laying bare // the black sheep

I have always been the odd one out in my family.
A little defiant, a little sassy and at times crude, open-minded and inquisitive. I was the black sheep.

Even as a child, I thought differently to my parents and peers. If it wasn't my desire to 'grow up' to be a large animal veterinarian (that was short lived when I discovered not all animals can be saved), it was my choice to be a vegetarian (again short lived...), to voice my opinions on refugees/whale slaughter/pro-life vs pro-choice/equality, the list goes on.
I was always questioning what I was told to be 'right' and 'wrong', I pushed boundaries (not the cool, creative-kind, the kind that gets you in deep shitty trouble), back-chatted and revelled in being a little different.
This is not to say I was a troubled child - in fact I was a diligent student and a somewhat respectable daughter - I just knew that there was more to this life than following rules and believing everything I was told.

Fast forward a decade or so and I am still equally defiant and more of a 'black sheep' than ever. 

 When I was nineteen, my parents 'discovered' the details of my relationship, with a fellow student in my theatre degree, via an online journal. Now, if you've been reading here a while you might have a guess at this person who captured my heart. What you wont know, is how my life changed from that moment.

I remember this night so vividly yet it is a seemingly surreal memory.
It was July 25, 2010, I was spending the night at the home of a few university friends, as we were studying* for our upcoming assessments. I remember hearing my phone ring, and knew something was not right. I answered the phone and in that instant my life was turned on its head.
My mothers words, "Sarah...please do not lie to me, I want the truth...Are you in a lesbian relationship with Sam?", sent me to my knees.
"Yes", was all I could say, as a wave of uncontrollable tears came forth.

I wasn't ashamed for 'coming out', I was heartbroken as I knew I would be shunned by my family.
The following days, weeks and months are a muddled combination of emotion-filled memories, a constant struggle between my head and my heart. A constant fight within myself, to be my self.
And the fight continues, at times. I continue to struggle with how these events unfurled.
It took months, more than a year really, before I was allowed the opportunity to fully and honestly express my inner thoughts and emotions to those who had shut me out after that July evening.
Although outspoken throughout my life, I also needed those months to find my voice, and the courage to have them heard.

I could not have done this without the selfless love and endless encouragement from Sam.
She is more than my partner and best friend, she is my better half.
In reality, without her I would not be.

xx

*We were really studying, just with sangria and Kate Miller-Heidke in the mix too.

///

Laying Bare is a collection of my most heartfelt emotions and inner thoughts. An raw recount of my past or a glimpse into my dreams for our future. 

Fear is shed, honesty uplifted and love is shared, in abundance.

like a bear

 I feel like a bear coming out from hibernation.


Slowly. Gently.

Slowly gaining a strength, a hunger.

Gently willing myself to re-emerge, to explore, to connect, again.

My mind and body are foggy and a little tense.

This past winter has taken its toll on me, in all aspects of my life.
I'm taking my time. Building myself up again. Finding my groove and clearing my head.

Spring is the perfect time for a clearing out the crap and giving everything a little scrub - my mind, body and soul are in dire need of a good purge and polish!
Warm sunshine and perfumed breezes make for a rejuvenating remedy to this melancholy.

This little space of mine is going to get its own spring clean too - perhaps a new look, definitely some new content. I'll chat about all this next time, but be prepared for a change.  
I need it. xx

Spring at Home

foraged flowers // bottle brush, banksia, spiraea, wax flower, showy herb & an about-to-bloom 'pig face' succulent

Well, by now I'm sure we're all aware that Spring is here in the Southern Hemisphere.
Much to my relief, she moved in a little earlier this year, prompting us to thaw out our wintry bodies with extra-long afternoon walks, foraging for blooms and dipping our toes in the cool lake whilst Tiger barks at the water.

Right now I am sitting in the sunshine sipping iced coffee, listening to the tinkling sound of ice against glass and lorikeets playing in the gum trees. Every now and again my phone flashes on as I receive sweet messages and updates from Sam.
She left early this morning with a few muso friends to attend Big Sound; a music industry conference, held annually in Brisbane. A last minute decision, which has taken us both by surprise, yet I'm certain she will enjoy herself immensely! We have spent very little time apart since our wedding just over 18 months ago, and we like it that way, so even a couple of nights apart is daunting. I'm not embarrassed to say that I'm feeling very alone without my right-hand gal.

This afternoon I'll pay a visit to the nursery to pick up a few essentials for our Spring vegie garden.We have plans to begin planting a few peas, beans and tomato seedlings (and perhaps some strawberries too?) in the coming days and get our herb garden thriving again after they were all knocked out by the frost. We've decided to allocate a bare section of our front garden to growing our vegetables this season as we haven't had any luck in our courtyard and as much as I'd like to turn our back yard into a plot, I don't trust Tiger or our neighbours dogs (we share a yard) to not eat anything we plant out there.
For now I'm content with just a handful of plants that I know will thrive and bring us joy to eat.

The sunshine and fresh air has brought with it the overwhelming desire to purge the clutter and clean the grime that has accumulated over the past months from every surface in our home. Slowly, over the coming weeks and months, we'll tick tasks of our mental to-do lists; wash windows, clear cobwebs, scrub sinks and benches, cupboards and doors. We'll leave the windows open to air out each room, burn sage and light beeswax candles.
Most of all I'm looking forward to clearing each room, closet and drawer of unnecessary and unwanted items. The less we have to pack, the better. Yes, pack. Not any time in the immediate future. But more on that next time.


So, what are you loving about Spring? 
The abundance of flowers, the fresh air, sundresses and sandals or homemade picnics?  
or our Northern friends, what are loving about Autumn/Fall?  
Are the leaves turning yet or are you still enjoying the last of a beautiful Summer?

Those Less Than Desirable Habits

From my current perch, our bed, I can see a quite a few bad less than desirable habits. Some are mine, some are Sams*, & unfortunately a couple are shared.
An empty mug from this mornings coffee sits beside a used make-up wipe from last nights lazy bedtime routine, clothes are strewn on the floor & the bed is littered with remnants of todays journalling/reading/crafting/eating peanut butter & Saladas**.
Not to mention my other terrible habits; letting the dishes pile up on the counter, leaving hair in the shower drain, forgetting to put water in the animals bowls & leaving the bathroom light on. Just to name a few.

After reading an insightful series surrounding the act of practicing simplicity, I have become more aware of elements in my daily life that could use a little, well simplifying.

Instead of leaving my mug on my bedside, I should have returned it to the kitchen to be washed with the dishes this evening, saving me the extra trip. Instead of leaving bits & pieces (ie. make-up wipes, hair pins, pencils, nail clippers, bills) laying around I should really put them back in their place, making my bedside available for books, candles & a selection of hand & body creams. Instead of dropping yesterdays (& the day before & the day before that &...) clothes on the floor, I should have put them in the hamper, ready for our visit to the laundromat***.
I'm sure tomorrow morning I'll regret piling all of todays journalling/reading/crafting/eating on the floor beside the bed, because ya'know, old habits die hard around here.

I guess it's all a work in progress, really. I can't turn my chaotic & - more often than not - untidy life around overnight, yet identifying the need is half the task. Next up - applying it!


Do you have any undesirable habits? (really, I can't be the only one!)
Any tips for simplifying the everyday?
 xx

* Don't worry, Sam, I wont divulge your bad habits...not now at least.
** PS. I'm sorry for getting crumbs in the bed... 
*** Just a couple more weeks until our new washer arrives...three to be exact, but who's counting?

An Unexpected Hiatus

Life has been quite mundane around these parts. Slow. Simple. Just...normal life.

I wake early, like usual.
I rise quietly & slowly out from under the covers, so as not to wake my love, like usual.
I slide into my $3 mens slippers & tip-toes from our dark bedroom in the brightly lit kitchen, & begin my morning ritual.
I fill the kettle & pop it on whilst I grind coffee beans. I arrange two espresso glasses & two milk jugs on a bamboo tray, pour cows milk into one pourer & almond milk into the other. As the kettle boils, I spoon fresh grounds into the glass vessel & pour the hot water over. As the press is placed on the tray, brewing , I add two slices of bread to the toaster. Four minutes is all it takes to mix together a ripe avocado, the juice of half a lime, a few thinly sliced shallots & a sprinkle of chilli flakes, then the toast is adorned with its simple spread & placed alongside the rest. All, as usual.
I collect the tray & make my way back to bedroom, pulling back the drapes as I climb into bed, like usual.
I pour milk & coffee into the glasses, placing one on my bedside. I then gently coax Sam awake*, often passing the glass beneath her nose, allowing the scent of fresh coffee waft over her & cause her to wake.
I turn on the idiot box (aka the television) & flick to the morning news, like usual.
And then the coffee is served. We talk about the flavour, colour & scent, where the beans came from & who roasted them (can you tell we love it?). We enjoy our coffee, slowly.

This is my morning ritual. I know it well & I like it that way. No matter the day, hectic or lazy, work day or weekend, I find comfort & a sense of calm in the rhythm it creates.
Yet there's been a part of my daily rhythm that I've neglected been missing the past few weeks - this part right here.

I can hardly believe I've been away for so long. I really hadn't intended to.
I think I just needed those few extra moments to just be. To sit & drink my coffee, without photographing it because the light in perfect or because it triggered a long forgotten childhood memory about that time that something happened. Enough time for me to breath. To unwind. To remind myself why this humble space exists. All in all, the distance has made my heart grow fonder.

So, I guess this is my unofficial-official way of saying "Honey, I'm home! I'm sorry I was gone so long, I missed you. Let's grab a couple beers, relax on the couch & chat a while." 

xx

One

 One year ago, I started out on a journey.

To document the bright, brash & beautiful of this big life of ours.

A place to share with you & reminisce with my love.

.................................................................................................................................

In just one year, I have been blessed with sincere & inspiring friendships. You have warmed my heart with your kind, honest & affirming words. You have been a listening ear, a firm shoulder & a gentle embrace.

In just one year, I have created a place to call my own. To welcome old & new friends plus the occasional virtual hitch-hiker. I have shared my dreams & desires, my flaws & fears. I have shared just a glimpse of what makes this simple life so magical, yet I have so much more to tell. Stories of the past & tales of a future.

I adore sharing these moments here. To keep a memory of each monumental & mundane moment of this journey. To create a record for the future - a future where my mind will undoubtedly haze over these everyday moments - yet, a place to return to enjoy & muse at these moments.

I will continue to illustrate our story here, with simple words & humble images. I will continue to share my our life with you. Oh, the stories I long to tell...& I will!


I guess, what I'm trying to say is, thank you.
Thank you for being here - whether you're an old friend, a new friend or the virtual hitch-hiker - I appreciate & adore you immensly!

So, why don't you stick around for a moment longer?
Put the kettle on, find a comfy spot & reminisce with me... xx

An Invitation
Two Years
Hi, I'm Sarah, & I'm allergic to bananas
It's okay, it's only me
Why I love Sunday
Cherish those you love

ps. come again soon - I have a little surprise for you! 

Currently...

Just as I thought our days were getting quieter & simpler, things have become...hectic. It's really the only word to describe it.
I'm awake early & in bed late. I'm drinking coffee by the gallon & have worn the same jeans/tee/beanie combo for the past 3 days. I have been away from this space for much longer than I wish & have missed dearly, yet I have not had the words, nor the mental capacity, to express it all. Life just gets hectic at times, hey?
So, this is what's happening currently...
 
* Although Autumn came late & the leaves took a while to turn & fall, Winter is truly here upon the mountain - frosty, foggy & drizzly days have become the norm, as have woolens & electric blankets.

* Sweater dresses, $3 mens slippers & brightly-coloured rugs...need I say more?

* Like I said earlier, I'm living on coffee at the moment. French press at breakfast, espresso in the evening & my favourite "standard fairtrade organic soy latte with agave to takeaway, please". 
(I also realise there's nothing 'standard' about that order.)

* My favourite part of Monday - making homemade stock. Sunday's roast chicken becomes 3litres of healthy, herb-spiked stock, & the leftovers are added to a multitude of meals - paprika chicken, spicy dumplings, rice paper rolls or a good ol' chicken & chilli toastie.

* My day-off looks like this: in bed, knitting, watching The Block, drinking coffee, chatting about babies/wall colours/travel, all whilst enjoying the heart-warming company of my sweet little family. Bliss.

* Winter evenings, we burn beeswax candles in the kitchen & bedroom, & light jars of tealights in the bathrooms.

* Although chilly, Winter has brought with her some magnificent blue skies & beautiful sunsets. It's at this time of the day that mind is open & clear. I find myself pondering life & dreaming of what the future has in store. It's also at this time of year that I begin thinking of what I want to achieve in the coming months - the solstice is nearing & we're reaching the midpoint. Time for lists, plans & lots of talks.

 

* We've celebrated both our birthdays in the past week - Sam on the 6th & mine just yesterday. It's a bit wonderful to share & enjoy this time together. Nothing extravagant, just quality time & a couple of special treats. The cake Sam baked for me last night has to be one of the highlights - doughnut-shaped with plenty of nutmeg, cinnamon & vanilla, plus raspberry coulis & the best white choc & raspberry icecream. Yum!  

PS. Happy Birthday, lady! xx

So, how are you?
What's happening with you currently?
Please tell me your life gets a little hectic too...?
xx

We Will Remember Them

This morning we rose before the sun. 

In the cool darkness we dressed, warm scarves around our necks & boots on our feet.  

As we drove, the first glimmers of light peeked through heavy fog & began melting the frost on the ground. Our first stop - our favourite lookout - perched on the edge of the range. It's just above the city yet below the fileds, often swathed in misty clouds. We stopped for a while to watch a hawk circle above the valley, before it duck & dove downwards into the thick bush.  

As the sun glowing red & amber, began her rise above the coastline, we set off again. 

The streets which had been silent just minutes ago were now lined with people. Medals, poppies & rosemary adorned the chest of many. Families showing their little ones the importance of this day.

At the lookout, we joined a group of a dozen or so strangers. We stood alongside each other - a young family dressed in pajamas, a couple wearing leather & helmets, a woman with her camera, a pair walking their dogs - listening to the last post on a car radio, as the sun cast golden rays across the downs & rose high above the ranges. 

In silence we all marvelled at this beautiful landscape - & for a moment we silently thanked those who gave their all for us to experience it. 

Now, in this moment, as the sun is painting water-colours across the sky, I am taking a moment; to light a candle & whisper a prayer of gratitude, for all that was given. 
I will remember them.
 

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning,

We will remember them.

 

The One With The Bravery Award

This week, our youngest had a date with the vet - time for 'the snip'. She was an absolute trooper.
Sam & I on the other hand, well, one word:
pathetic.


We were nervous wrecks throughout the day; pottering around the house & keeping our hands busy to distract from our nervousness, constantly checking our phones for calls from the vet, & doting on Appa & Tig as much as possible, for we knew much of our attention would be focused upon Quinn in the evening.

By the time that call came, we were beyond ready for our (fur)baby to come home. Our house felt empty without that boisterous ginger cat.
We jumped in the car, & made the short drive to the vet centre. Naturally, we were ecstatic when they brought her out - still groggy & tired from the days events, she looked so small & fragile, in need of much tender loving care. She was even gifted her own 'Bravery Award' for being such a good patient (naturally, as a proud mama, I was beaming) . We listened to the vet's recommendations, "plenty of rest" & "don't let her race around/climb things/play rough", & booked her for a check-up in 10 days time. We were farewelled with smiles & well-wishes, then home we went.

The caring, restful & healing world of the vet centre was a stark difference to what we were met with as we entered our home - & it all started with Appa.
Quinn obviously smelt different, even we noticed the 'sterile' scent, yet to Appa, her 'little sister' was a completely different cat. There was hissing, yowling & scratching. Sam & I soon clued in, & separated the two for a while.
We just weren't as prepared for the next heart-breaking instalment. (Although, thinking back to it all now, I should have trusted my instincts. Oh, retrospect!) 

We had a siesta in the late afternoon so we could keep Quinn company as she slept off the anaesthetic. I hadn't long dozed off when I realised Sam had climbed into the bed, hugging me from behind, & I felt warm tears rolling down my neck. I groggily asked if she was okay, with a soft, shaky reply, "No...I think Quinn hates me."
After several minutes of uncontrollable tears, Sam regaled to me how she had tried to stroke Quinn, but she would walk away - for my girl & her cat this was incredibly unusual, in fact the absolute opposite of their relationship (seriously, these two are almost inseparable!*). I could see the pain in her eyes, & it broke my heart. 
I put my 'grown-up/show no fear' pants on, & explained that Quinn didn't couldn't hate her, & to give it time - meanwhile I was worried it might be true. I thought for sure Quinn would find comfort in Sam. I feared we had made a huge mistake, & it brought me to tears too. We settled back into the bed; I sat, stroking Sam's hair as she slept, before falling asleep myself.

Fast forward several hours, & we were teary again, as Quinn greeted us with nose rubs & loud purrs. She sat atop Sam's chest for an hour, switching between licking her nose & 'padding' her stomach.
Obviously all she needed was time & space. No longer moody, she played with Appa - who had finally realised it was her beloved - & let Tig groom her. We were back to playing happy family!


Now if you've been reading here for a while (...or even a week) you'd know that our animals mean the world to Sam & I. I mean, seriously they are our babies, & we're unashamed to admit it.
I'm overwhelmed by the love I have for each of these quirky creatures, & the affection I receive in return. I can hardly imagine the love I could have for a child - hundredfold?!
Quite honestly, it baffles me.


 As I write, Sam & Quinn are snuggled up beside me, both breathing heavily & deep in slumber.
All is well in our home again.


 * Sam raised Quinn from a tiny 3-week old kitten found outside the old theatre; obviously abandoned by her mother, she was cold, damp & barely able to walk - I doubt she would have survived alone.
Sam would get up every two hours to feed & clean the kitten - needless to say they have an incredibly strong bond.

A Tale of a Lost Wedding Ring...

Once upon a time, in a land not too far from where you sit right now, lived two young ladies. Let's call them...Eddie and Lola.

Well, one day Eddie and Lola decided to bake a delicious loaf of focaccia for Lola's mama's birthday. As Lola prepared the dough, mixing flour and water with sugar and yeast, Eddie picked fresh chives from the garden and chopped sweet garlic cloves. Humming as they worked, the two women kneaded the dough until smooth, elastic and speckled with bright flecks of chive and garlic.
The dough was covered and left to rise, as jars were returned to their shelves and benches were cleaned. It was then that a gasp passed the lips of Eddie, as Lola returned a concerned reply,
"What...what's wrong?".
Eddie held up her left hand, wiggling her finger where a gold band should have been. Instead it was bare.

Lola began frantically searching the kitchen; moving appliances, clearing shelves, searching the sinks. Eddie stood back trying to remember the last time she had seen her ring. The room was strangely quiet, just the sound of cupboards opening and closing and Lola's desperate sighs.
"I took it off before I mixed the dough, and I put it down here...", Eddie recounted, gesturing to a section of bench between the espresso machine and a sink. Lola lept upon the spot, clearing away dishes and peering under appliances, alas it was not there. Suddenly, Lola swore loudly, covering her gaping mouth with her hands.
"Shit, it's in the bread! It's in the bread!" she gasped.
The rising loaf was retrieved from it's warm nook, and the ladies began pulling and prodding at the dough, smothering it's delicate air-bubbles and filling the room with a garlic-y aroma. For several minutes the dough was beaten upon, until it was clear it was not harbouring their golden treasure.
The women began searching throughout the house, retracing their movements of the past hour. The bedroom, ensuite, courtyard and living room were scoured. Nothing. The kitchen was poured over, double and triple-checked. Nothing.
Both women looked to each other with matching expressions of disappointment. A few four-lettered words were uttered and many tears were shed.
"It'll be okay, we don't need a ring. Our love is stronger than that", whispered Eddie as she embraced a red-faced Lola. The two women shared a brief kiss, and retired to the bedroom for an afternoon siesta. Although it's disappearance still baffled them, there was no point continuing a search for something that was so obviously...gone.

Later in the evening, after delivering their gift to its birthday recipient, the women arrived home and began preparing an evening meal. As Eddie began preparing a batch of special pancakes for supper, in the hope of bringing a little joy to their rather dismal evening, Lola caught up with a friend or two. Suddenly, in the midst of the calm night, a shout came from the kitchen and Lola was summoned.
As she curiously rounded the corner, Lola was met by the beaming smile of her love, and holding in her finger tips, was the golden band they had searched for! They bounded around the room, laughing and dancing. 
"Where was it?!", squealed Lola, whilst slipping the ring back on Eddies finger.
"In. The. Bin!", replied Eddie.
Lola looked surprised, "What? The bin! But, how?", she exclaimed.

Eddie pointed out that earlier that day she had pre-emptively thrown out the pancake packaging with the all important recipe printed on the side. Upon realising she needed it, she had planned to search blindly through the rest of the discarded rubbish, no matter how bad it might have been. But there, just underneath the lid and nestled between a corn husk and an empty paper towel roll was a shining, glimmering flicker of gold.

With the recipe packaging situated perfectly underneath.

The moral of this story, dear friends, is to always check the place you least expect (even if it means traipsing through the trash)...and pancakes are perfectly suitable for dinner.

Paper Love

Considering today is the day of love, I thought it appropriate to share with you a little of what Sam and I did on our first anniversary, a couple of weeks ago.

As a "good morning!" surprise for Sam, I scattered 'love notes' throughout the house...

After a relaxing morning, drinking coffees in bed and enjoying the unusually cool weather, we were met with a minor family crisis. We spent much of the afternoon and early evening driving through the country, dropping people here and there. By the time we arrived home, we were exhausted and longing for bed. Together we whipped up a quick pumpkin, beetroot and fetta pizza and an inventive cookie-dough-come-pudding for dessert. We were in bed and asleep well before midnight (which is incredibly unusual in our house).

We awoke the next day refreshed and excited to be spending the day, at home, together. We decided to extend our celebrations by creating a piece of art work for above our bed. Although we couldn't afford to do or buy much for this anniversary, it was the perfect gift to each other.

After scouring Pinterest for inspiration, I suggested a few ideas to Sam - all of which she loved - and we got to work creating a framed series, featuring a 'finger-print heart', for above our bed...

What do you think?

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Today has been very low key - plenty of pottering around the house, scouring Ikea catalogues in preparation for our next trip, and eating hot chips with our very first batch of home-made tomato sauce (all very romantic). There's no need for a dozen red roses or boxes of chocolates around these parts, just plain ol' 'lady love'!

 

Did you get up to anything special for Valentine's Day?  I hope you had a lovely day, no matter how you spent it or who with! xx

 

Hi, I'm Sarah, & I'm Allergic To Bananas

 You may have noticed a a little freshen up and few new additions upon this humble little space - whataya think? 

Aside from coding and the such, the hardest part was writing the 'About' page. I struggled to find the words to introduce me, and what this place is all about. I scoured other blogs for inspiration, and to procrastinate from writing my own, yet in the end, I just fumbled about, stringing a few sentences together to get the job done.
In, all honesty, it's not perfect or a finished product but, that's life right - it is continually evolving - and so will every part of this blog.

So, when I discovered I had been nominated for a Liebster Award , by Allison at Just Underneath, I figured this would be a great opportunity to indulge my narcissistic side, and write a few facts and answer some questions about moi.

"What's a Liebster Award?", you say; well...

"The Liebster Award is for bloggers with under 300 followers. The rules of the award is that the nominee must link back to whoever awarded them, write 11 random facts about themselves, answer the 11 questions from the award giver, and then nominate another 11 bloggers and make up 11 questions for them to answer. It's a great way for new and undiscovered bloggers to meet new people, get more followers and find some blogs that they want to follow."

Okay, here goes! :

11 Random Facts About Sarah:
1. I dislike eating leftovers (with the exception of chinese and pizza...they always taste better the next day) - especially anything that was originally hot but people consume cold (example: last nights chinese and pizza)
2. I was a dancer...a Scottish Highland dancer...and no, it's not the same as Lord of the Dance.
3. I am a homebody, but love to travel, which often leaves me feeling overwhelmingly homesick but doesn't trump the the excitement and joy of exploring new places.
4. I am allergic to bananas, which is difficult when banana bread smells so damn good!
5. on our 'wedding' night I we were sooo exhausted, we went to bed (& fell asleep) at 9:30pm...leaving our guests to party the night away.
6. I am partial to the 'f' word.
7. If you hadn't already noticed, from the multitude of photos and recipes, I like LOVE food - all kinds of food! & coffee...lots and lots of coffee! 
8. I cry a lot - for all kinds of reasons. Yesterday, for example, I cried whilst watching Ellen  just because it makes me so happy! Tonight, I cried when my bread didn't rise. I'm just emotional.
9. My favourite book is Chinese Cinderella. I highly recommend reading it.
10. I performed at Woodford Folk Festival as a mutant human/pig - I wore a prosthetic snout and a chest plate with teats, for 6 hours a night...the other actors would 'suckle' on my nipples and we would throw baked beans at the audience. (oh, the things we do for our art - I swear I wasn't under the influence!)
11. I am annoyingly optimistic - the glass is always half full.

11 Questions By Allison:
1. Have you ever broken the law? Not that I know of... I (& a group of friends) was scolded by an officer for riding a trolley through an alleyway...is that illegal?
2. Have you ever broken a bone? Yes - many - I'm a clutz!
3. Have you ever broken a heart? Yes...not my proudest moment.
4. Where would you go on your dream date? Anywhere, as long as it has a beautiful view and delicious food...and my love!
5. Who`s your dream date? ...Sam* - gushy-gross , I know.
6. Cats or dogs? Well, both. I grew up with dogs, and had never really been around cats...until I rescued Appa. I love them equally!
7. Do you believe in ghosts? To some extent, yes. More so, I believe in spirits.
8. How would you spend a lotto win? I'm assuming this doesn't include the $7 I won when I turned 18. I'd definitely give some to my parents and the in-laws, and without sounding cheesy, a substantial amount would go to charity (we've already discussed this topic- optimistic, right?)  
9. What posters were in your childhood bedroom? Growing up in the nineties, I owned copious amounts of Spice Girls, Hanson and Ricky Martin posters and merch. I was insanely in love with Ricky Martin and would sing "She Bangs" for hours on end...much to the amusement of my family. 
10. First concert? I can't remember - I've been to so many!
11.Who do you most admire? My late grandfather. He was an incredibly kind and gentle man, with a wicked sense of humour and an insatiable love for potato crisps. He sat by his wife's bed, (as she is immobile due to Alzheimers Disease) every day from morning until dusk, right until his last days. He was deeply in love with her and told so her every day - even as she can no longer speak nor recognise him. He was noble and patient - two traits I am inspired to cultivate for myself, by his example.
*I wouldn't say no to Ryan Gosling, though. 

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Now, onto my nominations for the Liebster Award, and my questions!

*Za's Little Blog *Flight Platform Living *Mrs Parrett *This Brown Wren *Fore & Aft *All In A Daze *Sea and Salt *Floral Mountain *Feminine. Unique. New *Little Red Vikings *Maitland St Meals

1.  What's your favourite season?
2. What do you like most, sweet or savoury foods?
3. Do you have any pets?
4. What are you reading at the moment?
5. Do you have a lucky number?
6. What's your favourite cuisine?
7. What was the last thing you saw at the cinema?
8. Which do you like, gold or silver?
9. What's your favourite hobby/interest?
10. What's for dinner at your place tonight?
11. Do you have a phobia?

No pressure, ladies! It's all just for fun.

 

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Wow! If you made it this far, I applaud you! Now you know some random things about me, and hopefully feel like you know me a little better!

Hope your weekend is lovely!

Sar xx

Simply, Enjoy ~

♫ Wet washing hanging on the line 
Drying very quickly when the weather’s fine 
Along comes the wind and blows it all about 
Flip flap flip flap blowing in and out ♫

Do you remember this ABC Play School song? I've been singing it all day as I catch up on some loooooong over due laundry. Seriously, it was beginning to pile up...and smell!

Dressed in my favourite vintage sundress and bare feet, I've been relishing in the fresh smell of clean linen and the feeling of springy grass underfoot. The soft 'flapping' sound of sheets and blankets blowing in the breeze.

Last weeks dreary weather reflected my equally dreary mood, and although still unemployed, I am choosing to simply, enjoy the present. The sunshine, gentle breezes, the ankle deep grass* in our backyard and a clean house. 

What are you simply enjoying (or enjoying simply) this week?

*last weeks rain + this weeks sunshine = 3 inches of new green grass...which now needs to be mown.

The Week That Was...27//1//13

1. my favourite pup and warm wool socks
2. the thick fog...we couldn't see our neighbours, just 10 meters across the street
3. gumboots - ready and waiting by the door
4. an Australia Day tribute - it was wet and windy, but we couldn't resist the opportunity to dance in the rain!
5. rain brings new growth
6. her newest resting place - the middle of the coffee table
7. blown here by the wind - its golden hue, against the grey outside, made me smile
8. how I spent much of the weekend - snuggled up in bed, watching ex-tropical cyclone Oswald wreak havoc outside our window...and secretly wishing for sunny Summer days.
photograph #4 & #8 by Sam

*Linking in with Em for Stills: A Weekly Collection

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Here it is! Better late than never, right? We've been battling no electricity and a dodgy internet connection for the past few days, so it's nice to be back here, catching up on what's happening in your worlds and writing about mine - using a smartphone to read blogs just wasn't cutting it.

Last week was particularly tough on our family. 
The wet weather left us all a little 'under the weather' (pun intended), particularly for our poor pooch *. We bunkered down in the ferocious winds and pouring rain - lighting candles during the blackouts and pulling out the winter woollens. I'd even taken up knitting to wile away the hours.

Today we awoke to a bright blue sky and fluffy white clouds. We wore sun-dresses (read: I wore the dress, Sam wore shorts - she would want me to point that out) and went for a walk to stretch ours and Tig's legs. Windows were flung open to let the gentle breeze air out the house, and the cats spent the afternoon lazing about in the golden sunshine.

Although the storms have passed us here, we are still aware of the destruction and loss that has occurred, and will unfortunately continue. We are reminded of what an incredible land we live in - as my father recently put it:

ahh Australia...ya gotta love this country...One end of Ozz is as dry as a dead dingos donga in the desert and burning like the flames of hell .. whilst the other end is drowning under the weight of a not quite Biblical proportioned flood...Talk about a land of extremes...

My father's comments aside, we're praying you and your family are safe and healthy during this wild weather, right across this amazing globe - through the rain, wind, fire, snow, drought and heat-waves.

Sar xx

*I wrote a little about Tiger's past here, causing her fear of rain and stormy weather.