quinn // a portrait series

friendship, it's hard

via*

I long for the days when friendship was easy.
Seeing your 'best friend' (or friends, if you were lucky) in the school yard every day,
or living with them throughout your college years (until you realised that his lack of personal hygiene or her all-night-long sexual encounters were never ideal for communal living!)
those were the days when friendships were easy.

Abandoned more times than I'd like to share.
Scarred and broken,
a little more weary, a little less trusting.

Yet with so much love and companionship,
to give, to share, to express.
But it's all too hard now;
now that I know the pain of love lost, of friendships sunk.

Now, I build walls and mask myself.
It's easier and safer,
but it's lonelier.

Lonelier,
than ever.

*my younger, more trusting and a little too naive self. 'Sarah' by Kiara Cheetham, 2008

healthy life - banana-less bread

If you've been visiting this humble space for a while you might remember when I posted back here about my banana allergy and the unfortunate circumstance of not being able to indulge in the delicious (I assume, from the divine aroma it emits) treat, Banana Bread.

For so long I've searched for an appropriate substitution for the fruit, knowing full well that I may never be able to replicate its smooth texture and subtly sweet offerings. Avocado worked well for smoothies but I was unsure of how it would hold up being baked.
So yesterday afternoon, as the wind whipped around our house and the mercury dropped unnaturally low for January in Queensland, I popped on an apron and set out to bake a sweet loaf. After a few minutes on our trusty mate Google, I discovered just what I was looking for - apple purée! Now why hadn't I thought of that?

I then clicked over to one of my favourite foodie havens, to find inspiration in their Spelt Banana Bread recipe, tweaking it a little to serve my messed-up body's crazy aversion to the yellow fruit.
I swapped the unrefined cane sugar for a 50/50 mix of dark brown sugar and raw caster sugar, the butter for coconut oil, golden syrup for agave syrup, and of course the bananas for apple purée. (I also added a couple dark chocolate pieces to satisfy my pms monster. A girls gotta satisfy that choc craving somehow!)
Simply mix the wet into the dry, pour into a loaf tin and bake for an hour.

Although I'm sure  it doesn't have the typical banana bread flavours, it surely looks and feels like the moist, dense and subtly sweet loaf of my dreams. I am quite pleased with myself.
What I am not pleased with however, is the mistake I made of falling asleep, sitting up nonetheless, before I could turn my glorious creation out and put it safely away. I shouldn't have been surprised to find it half eaten by two naughty little felines.
All is well though, that tiny smidge on the end up there was rescued for breakfast this morning, served alongside home-made natural yoghurt with a drizzle of agave syrup and two piping hot espresso. Alls well that ends well, right?

boy oh boy did they enjoy themselves!

Do you have any tips or ideas for subsituting banana? I'd love to know!

being present // two

There's nothing quite like taking stock to keep you in the present. Simply put, this is life as we know it, right now.

Making : a 'scrap book' filled with inspiring interiors, a mood board of sorts, for everything I...and we, desire for our future homes (am I the only one who stills tears pages out of glossy lifestyle magazines and catalogues and files them away in notebooks?)
Cooking : a nourishing breakfast of light rye toast topped with my favourite sheeps fetta marinated in sun-dried tomatoes (okay, so not really Cooking, more like Assembling...)
Drinking : coffee! A delicious Single Origin from India with lightly textured organic almond milk. Yep, I'm a coffee wanker...but it's my job! 
Reading: Lonely Planet Canada, a wonderfully thoughtful Christmas gift from a close friend.
Wanting:this lust-worthy skirt in print 3 and this blanket in teal, for our bed
Looking: forward to the season change, something I never though this sunny Queensland, Summer-loving gal would say, but these 40°C are trying
Playing: Happy over and over and over again. How could you not be happy after experiencing such an awesome song?
Deciding: on what I should tell the hairdresser when I see her next. I know she wont like it when I say "keep the length"...
Wishing: we lived closer to our closest friends. A northern hemisphere migration couldn't come fast enough
Enjoying: the glow of candle light as I wait for the sun to rise
Waiting: for Sam to wake up...but she's pretty damn gorgeous while asleep
Liking: how Sam just woke up and summoned me back to bed for a snuggle
Wondering: what suburbs we should be looking at in Melbourne
Loving: all the signs of love I'm seeing in the world around me, possibly prompted by our upcoming 'wedding' anniversary
Pondering: how I will ever fulfil all the things on my 'I want to' list...  

*We apologise for this interruption to your current viewing as Sarah has to go to work*

*8 hours later...*

Considering: popping Sam on a plane bound for Maine, to visit a dear friend. Sometimes you just need to make a friends day a little brighter by surprising them with an impromptu visit
Watching: dark, ominous clouds engulfing the blue sky outside the window
Marvelling: at the miracle of life - so many beautiful people announcing the growth of their family or welcoming their wee bundles of joy into the world! 
Needing: a day off. I'm so thankful tomorrow is Sunday!
Smelling: the honey and goats milk treatment I slathered onto my hair last night in the hopes of taming this frizzy mop
Wearing: my usual 'just got home from work' attire, yoga pants and a mens tank, oh and the subtle scent of coffee grinds under my nails. Keepin it classy.
Following: this loved up couple as they marry their way across the globe
Noticing: how much my health has changed in the past 12 months - less pain and inflammation in my joints, better sight, strong nails and clear skin - a healthy lifestyle and positive outlook on life really does improve your health!
Knowing: this is our last Summer in this sunny state, reminding myself to not take these last few months for granted
Thinking: of what I should gift to Sam for our second anniversary. Cotton sheets, perhaps?
Admiring: the stunning creations of wood|GLASS designs  - oh those stunning chimes necklaces *sigh*
Sorting: through my feelings, purging foul thoughts and cleansing my heart of fear and 
Buying: nothing in particular. We're trying to limit unnecessary spending and build our savings back up after the flogging it got over the 'silly season'. 
Getting: excited and anxious about seeing our dreams coming to fruition
Bookmarking: the awesome website, Common Threads, launched by the equally awesome Sash of Inked in Colour. Make sure you bookmark this beautiful space too. You'll be glad you did!
Disliking: the painfully dry skin on my hands (any suggestions for natural and/or home made remedies for dermatitis and severely dry skin are welcome!)
Opening: way too many bills...and not enough pretty packages
Giggling: at the furbabies cleaning each other in a sort of 'licking circle' and getting upset at each other when the don't do it just right
Feeling: overwhelmed with love and admiration for my beautiful wife. She truly is my better half
xx

joining with Pip!

laying bare // to breathe, to weep

Last night, I lay naked in the bottom of the shower, legs up the wall in Viparita Karani, weeping into my damp and knotted bird-nest of hair*. Surrounded by a steady stream of tiny droplets, cocooning me in a warm embrace, my own salty tears mimicking their waterfall, I realised I am fragile.

I can admit to more trial and heartbreak in my short existence thus far than many would come across in a lifetime - and I understand that, this is my life story and I wouldn't want it any other way. This life has shaped and formed me into the person I am. Yet, it was in that moment of relentless tears that I realised, I am not yet at peace with my past. I understand it and accept it, for it is the past and there is no undoing, but my future is mine to own.

I am unsure how to be truly at peace with all that has hurt and broken me, though something within tells me that beginning here - with the words in my mind and a blank page before me -healing will come. From a supportive and insightful community, healing will come.

Healing will come. Breathe. Healing, will come.

xx

*Now try getting that image out of your head. My apologies.

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 Laying Bare is a collection of my most heartfelt emotions and inner thoughts. An raw recount of my past or a glimpse into my dreams for our future. Fear is shed, honesty uplifted and love is shared, in abundance.

not another resolution post

Okay, so it is a 'to do' list for 2014, but really, they're not resolutions.
I'm a tad flaky, and I'll be the first to admit it. I am often running late, a little carefree and lazy, start things I can't finish, and a top procrastinator.
I have the best intentions, I promise. I just get...distracted/overwhelmed/discouraged/sidetracked. I'm not going to make a promise to change any of this in the near future, but I am looking forward to ticking a few things off my 'fourteen for 2014' list.

Here's a couple:

1. tell Sam she is beautiful everyday!

2. simplify our home, life and relationships - if it hasn't been used/moved/implemented/contacted in the last 12 months, it's got to go. Harsh, perhaps, but this year is about living in the present and making good for the future, not dwelling in the past.

3. purge the house of excess furniture and items - our home has become a sort of dumping ground for family members unwanted furniture, since we really only frequent 1/2 of the house and there's two extra bedrooms for 'storage'. No more. It has to stop this year, and it has to go.
We will make a list of everything that will move with us, we will be brutal and thorough. Our closet will get a clear out, the pantry and kitchen appliances culled and only our favourite and most precious décor will make it into the moving van. Our home will get back to basics, minimal is key.

4. finish building the console table - seriously, we're letting the lesbian stereotype down! (bad joke, I know) Planks of timber atop two side-tables, a console does not make. We'll get out the hammer and nails before the year ends.

5. drink more water - a glass when I wake up and one before bed (note to self: don't forget to go to the loo before falling asleep!) and always carry a bottle of water with me.

6. travel to Melbourne in June/July - this is already loosely planned but this needs to happen mid-year, no sooner, no later. We will meet with a real estate to assist us in our house hunting, but most of all we will make the most of a few days with our dear friend Ruby, before she jets off for her studies in the US. A working holiday with the added bonus of our birthdays in the mix - win, win, win!

7. continue to be the biggest supporter of Sam's music. Encourage her. Inspire her. Uplift her.

8. sing, dance, laugh, pray and meditate, everyday! If you're joy-filled on the inside, it shows on the outside!

Most of all I want to make the most of this year. Make the most of the final months in our first home, make the most of living in this beautiful city in this beautiful, sunshine-y state, make the most of living close to our family. 2014 is here, whether I'm ready for it or not, and there's plenty to do and see. I'm ready to make each day matter and to do it all with love and passion.

At least that's my intention. Y'know I've said it before, old habits die hard around here!



Do you have any resolutions, non-resolutions or a 'to do' list for 2014?

farewell

2013, you have been a trying one, a joyous one, a memorable one.

Thank you for your blessings and your lessons. For the friendships formed, strengthened and those which we had the courage to leave behind. Thank you for the love, the health, the laughter and the utterly wonderful memories.

2014, I am ready. I am excited.

............................................................................................................

May your new years eve be simply beautiful. Take a moment to breathe, reminisce and be truly thankful for all that this year has blessed us with. Ring in the new year well, with those you love and that love you. Let's catch up again tomorrow!

All our love and good wishes for the new year!

Sar, Sam (& the fur babies!) xx

picking up & dusting off 

happy anniversary, lady 
it's okay, it's only me 
only time will tell 
one 
laying bare // the black sheep 
sunflowers and sunshine

the magic is in you

Last night we brewed a batch of the best hot chocolate, grabbed a couple candy canes off the tree and headed into the city to the local Christmas light display at the Botanic Gardens.

Amongst the towering trees and beautifully maintained gardens is a wonderland of thousands of twinkling lights. We meandered along paths lit with scenes of the first Christmas, beneath tree branches laden with pastel coloured bulbs and at the centre of it all, a giant globe of the earth surrounded by stalls selling glow sticks and balloon animals, an ice-cream van, sausage sizzle and carollers singing all the best holiday songs.

Families picnicked on grassy knolls and children sat mesmerised by miniature model trains riding the tracks of a North Pole scene. We strolled along, taking in the synchronised music and light display, a giant neon rainbow, the trio of sailboats bobbing in the pond, and messages of Peace, Love and Joy spelt out in glowing ropes of red, green and gold. When the crowds became too much, we packed ourselves up ready to head home.

As we walked along the city paths, we overheard a conversation between a couple and their daughter.  This little girl sang Jingle Bells and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer to her hearts content. Sam and I couldn't help but smile at the scene before us. Skipping along the path, her mama and papas hands in each of her own, completely filled with youthful joy. Her parents were beaming at each other and playfully hushing when her rendition of Jingle Bells began echoing through the Eucalyptus lined streets.
It was just before we parted ways that the girl sang out, "I just can't help it, I'm soooo happy!".
And that's exactly what this season it about. The joy. The magic.
Thousands of people, our community, came together for a common belief - in the magic of Christmas.

Although I find this season overwhelming and have already (unfortunately) uttered my desire for it to all be over (seriously, I had a coffee tossed at me during what I can only describe as the break down of a woman crazed by the materialistic intensity of the holidays!) I couldn't help but be reminded of the beauty of this season, by a child nonetheless. Her innocent and honest view of Christmas has renewed the magic of my own Christmas experience.

On this, the eve of Christmas eve, I wish you an abundance of love and joy in the coming days. May you be filled with Christmas spirit and find that childlike magic within yourself too!
Sar xx

where have I left my manners?

If any one finds them, could you reconnect us immediately, please?

a completely pointless image...I just wanted to share another one from yesterdays photoshoot ;)

Seriously, it appears I've forgotten the cardinal rule of being a good friend, y'know after 'Tell thy friend they have food in their teeth' and 'Tuck thy friends tag in so the world doesn't discover just how juicy their booty is', I have forgotten to 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you.'

Simple, isn't it?

Well, my gorgeous friend Lila invited me over to space, Little Wolff to tell a tale of Christmas past, present and future. She wrote some pretty sweet words about moi, and I've shared a little glimpse into my holiday traditions and experiences in her series 12 ways of Christmas.

So go on, click over and check out some lovely holiday stories from some of your favourite bloggers, or discover a few new ones!

xx

sunflowers and sunshine

Yesterday we spent the afternoon frolicking in a field of sunflowers with our (new) friend and über talented photographer Justin Ma.

The sun was high, bright and hot. It didn't stop us though. 

We laughed and smiled and sang. We soaked in the beauty of this world. And just before the sky opened up with plump, heavy rain drops, I stopped and realised...

I was falling  in love with this woman all over again.

It was perfection.

On My Playlist : round two

As we welcome a new season, I thought it the perfect time to share with you some of the music we are loving in our home right now. Bright, warm days filled with trips to the beach and boozy, alfresco evenings are being swapped for light layers, hot cocoa and simple melodies.

~ I never thought I'd say this, but I am an official Bruno Mars convert (I wasn't particularly thrilled by his previous work - not that it was bad, I just wasn't captivated by it...you know, monkey suits and all that). Our home is constantly filled with the sweet sounds of his newest album, Unorthodox Jukebox , especially as Sam has taken to covering several of his songs for various gigs and music events.
I think it all began with the month of February, and the lure of all things 'love', when I heard Sam and her muso friends practising Locked out of Heaven for an upcoming gig, then came The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2013 where he serenaded the crowd with Young Girls , and my favourite so far, When I Was Your Man.  What can I say, with a captivating mix of 'big band' music and 'can't-get-it-out-f-my-head' lyrics, I have fallen hard for this man.

~ I first saw/heard Beneath Your Beautiful when I was cleaning the house early Monday morning, in preparation for our property viewing; with Channel V playing in the background, the clip came on and I was hooked.
I know I'm behind the ball on this one, as it was released late last year, but there's no denying it is a lovely song filled with beautiful melodies, meaningful lyrics, and the stunning vocals of Labrinth and Emeli Sandé .

~ I know you have probably heard it a million times already, and perhaps I'm showing my true (rainbow) colours but Same Love by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis featuring Mary Lambert is at the top of my playlist at the moment...well it has been all year really, but I guess I'm feeling particularly gay/same-love/all-love/lovey-love-love at the moment.
All I can say is this song and clip is a work of art, and it's wonderful to listen to an artist/song that isn't filled with sex, drugs and the many other obscenities that feature so much in society. Check it out!


What songs are you listening to at the moment? 

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Welcome to Autumn to all those here, Down Under and Happy 1st Day of Spring for all my Northern Hemisphere friends! Have a wonderful weekend! 

Sar xx

Healthy Life: Summer Oats

As a child, my father would make a big pot of porridge most mornings in Winter. We would wake to the nutty smell of milk, honey and rolled oats bubbling away on the stove, climb out of bed, and join our parents for a family breakfast - complete with matching bowls, a tea-cosied pot of black tea, and big glasses of orange juice. Sickeningly sweet and happy family-like, right? Gosh things are good when you're young.

Fast forward 15 years, and enjoying a sit down breakfast is a luxury...to be honest, any breakfast at all can be a luxury around here *insert gasp of horror here* I know, I know, it's terrible. I can hear my mothers voice scolding me for not starting the day with a proper breakfast, and asking if I'm eating enough, because I look "much skinnier than last time" she saw me (does anyone else's mother make comments like this, or just mine?).

Well, I'm making a change - a lifestyle change - to eat healthier, think healthier and live healthier.

Over the coming months I will be reading and researching, asking questions, experimenting and of course, applying all that I have discovered - and I will share it with you here. There's more to this journey that just tips and recipes for healthy eating, there's an inspiration*, of sorts, to discover and learn more about why we should live better (other than the notion that 'it's good for you'). More on that at a later date.

For now, I want to introduce you to a old friend: rolled oats. Filled with soluble fibre, low GI, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals, the humble oat is one of natures super foods...but you already knew all this.
What I didn't know was that this pantry staple was good for things other than Anzac Biscuits and steaming hot porridge on cold Winter mornings. Enter my new favourite meal - 'Summer Oats' (also fondly known as Bircher Muesli...with a twist).  


Summer Oats

1. place oats and milk in your favourite brekky bowl to soak
2. slice your apple, peel and segment the orange, cut open your pomegranate and 'smack' the glistening, jewel-toned pulp out with a wooden spoon - add to bowl
3. sprinkle with LSA, a dusting of cinnamon and top it all of with a drizzle of honey
4. find a sunny spot and enjoy, whilst catching up on your all favourite blogs, of course!

So, whether it's for brekky or a light (but filling) snack, I have a newfound appreciation, and dare I say, adoration for oats. 

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Do you enjoy the humble rolled oat? Any recommendations for interesting and delicious toppings and combos?

* inspiration is a strange word to use but I'll roll with it - 'Healthy Life' will become a series throughout this year, as I strive to learn more about living a healthy life, focussed on healthier eating for better brain function, as well as memory exercises, all focussed on learning and understanding more about Alzheimers Disease and prevention. This is a topic close to my heart - and worth a post all of its own. Stay tuned!

side note: Before you write me off as some lactose-free, almond milk drinking hippy, please hear me out! I have been lactose-intolerant for most of my life (due to a bout of gastroenteritis as in infant), and made the change to lactose-free milks and milk substitutes around about 10 years ago. I have tried my far share of soy, rice, and many many nut 'milks' in my short lifetime, and have finally landed on almond milk as my preferred substitute. I have included almond milk in this recipe and nutritional facts, purely as a suggestion and guide. I recommend almond milk to anyone who is looking for a delicious (and nutritional) alternative to full cream cows milk - give it a go!

Nutrition Facts

Oats: (per 1 cup)

   607 calories

   11g fat (2g saturated)

   0g cholesterol

   3 mg sodium

   103g carbohydrates (11g dietary fibre)

   26g protein

   includes folate, calcium, iron, zinc

Almond Milk: (per 1 cup)

   60 calories

   2.5g fat (0g saturated)

   0mg cholesterol

   150mg sodium

   8g carbohydrates

   1g protein

   inlcudes calcium, vitamin A/C/D/E, iron

Apple: (per 100g)

   52 calories

   1mg sodium

   14g carbohydrates (2g dietary fibre, 10g sugars)

   includes vitamin A/C, calcium, iron

Orange: (per 100g)

   47 calories

   12g carbohydrates (2g dietary fibre, 9g sugars)

   1g protein

   includes vitamin A/C, calcium, iron

Pomegranate: (per 100g)

   83 calories

   1g fat

   3mg sodium

   19g cholesterol, (4g dietary fibre, 14g sugars)

   2g protein

   includes vitamin C, calcium, iron

LSA (Linsead, Sunflower Seed, Almond) Meal: (per 100g)

   532 calories

   42.7g fat

   19mg sodium

   24.2g carbohydrates (23.1g dietary fibre, 4.8g sugars)

   20.6g protein

   includes calcium, zinc, magnesium

Honey: (per 100g)

   304 calories

   4mg sodium

   82g carbohydrates (82g sugars)

   includes vitamin C, calcium, iron

Cinnamon: (per 2g)

   6 calories

   1g carbohydrates (1g dietary fibre)

   includes calcium, iron

The above nutritional facts are a general indicator - refer to individual product information for a exact nutrition information. 

For The Child Within...

Last night, like thousands others, we congregated on the side of a hill in singlets and sandals and watched in awe at the magical light display in Queens Park. Nestled alongside parents with their toddlers and elderly couples on lawn-chairs - every one of us with our eyes transfixed on the sky waiting for that first flash and bang. And then...

We oohed and aahed, pointing at each new explosion of colour, and as the last sparkling light fizzled down the crowds cheered and applauded.

For twenty minutes, we were all children again...

and now for 30 seconds you can be a child again too!
 

How did you spend your New Years Eve?

An Aussie Christmas

up at dawn
blearing eyed, coffee brewing
last minute wrapping and strategic car packing
three hours of country driving
Christmas-themed playlists laced with Lady Gaga and Beyonce
good morning's and merry christmas's
 pancakes, bacon and eggs, and orange juice
gift exchanges, tight hugs and warm farewells
an hour west family reunited, whilst others meet for the first time
hot cooked lunch on an equally blistering day
all the fixings - and plenty of desserts
cherries, papers crowns and beer
catching up, reminiscing, and pulling out the photo albums
and as the sun hits the horizon
piling into the car, leftovers in hand
home bound
...I know this has been a bloody beautiful Christmas!

Summer: Grilled Pineapple

Our most recent trips to the Sunday farmers markets has had us returning home, laden with deliciously fresh Summer-fruits - juicy plums and nectarines, lychee's, melons, mangos, and my favourite, pineapple!
Sweet, juicy, with a little tang, I can't leave without a pineapple...or two!

So, after a couple of unseasonably cool days and some very ripe fruit, I searched the depths of the kitchen cupboards for the griddle pan, whacked it on the stove and grilled us a mid-morning treat.

It's very morish, and as easy as 1, 2, 3*!

1. I like to cut the pineapple into 2cm thick rounds, and then divide into 4 or 8 pieces.
2. Grill for a couple of minutes on each side until that lovely caramelising aroma begins to fill your kitchen...and cause your stomach to growl.
3. Arrange in your favourite bowl (or cup, like me), top with freshly squeezed lime juice/mint leaves/vanilla bean ice-cream/anything that takes your fancy!

*4. and ENJOY!

*this delightful cup is from here

Byron Bound

I must admit that Summer is my favourite of all the seasons (Winter being the least). I find so much joy in it's warmth and brightness - days filled with icy cold drinks, sun dresses and top knots, afternoon siestas, swimming, road-trips, juicy stone fruits and of course, the Holidays.

Yesterday, was one of those Summer days.

We packed up the car, plugged in some sweet tunes and set the GPS South, to Ballina. The next 5 hours* were spent laughing, singing, waving at passers-by, and eating 'roast chicken and KFC-chip' sandwiches. In true Queenslander-style we chatted about the time difference** as we crossed the QLD-NSW border, and sighed relief that we would soon glimpse that vast and shimmering blue ocean.

As 6pm (or 5pm est) neared, the sun still high, the car was parked, and we dove into the cool, crashing waves. For an hour we delighted in the warm sun on our backs and sand between our toes. We explored rock pools and watched children chase gulls across the sandbar. As as the sun began to kiss the cliff tops, we piled back into the car, salty skin and dripping curls, bound for home.

These are my favourite Summer days - adventurous and candid - celebrating this beautiful season.

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How do you spend your Summer days?

Photograph #2 by Ayden Roberts

* For some ungodly reason we took the longest possible route to the North Coast - through Stanthorpe, Tenterfield and Lismore...yet had we not gone the 'back way' we would not have driven over the highest, narrowest, rickety-est bridge or seen the most gorgeous rolling countryside with foals and lambs galore. (The trip home was much faster, along the coast and up the Mountain.)

** Why, oh why is Queensland still so behind? (or ahead...?) - this topic spurred on much conversation, and dad-jokes about 'time' and the such.