friendship, it's hard

via*

I long for the days when friendship was easy.
Seeing your 'best friend' (or friends, if you were lucky) in the school yard every day,
or living with them throughout your college years (until you realised that his lack of personal hygiene or her all-night-long sexual encounters were never ideal for communal living!)
those were the days when friendships were easy.

Abandoned more times than I'd like to share.
Scarred and broken,
a little more weary, a little less trusting.

Yet with so much love and companionship,
to give, to share, to express.
But it's all too hard now;
now that I know the pain of love lost, of friendships sunk.

Now, I build walls and mask myself.
It's easier and safer,
but it's lonelier.

Lonelier,
than ever.

*my younger, more trusting and a little too naive self. 'Sarah' by Kiara Cheetham, 2008