Last night, I lay naked in the bottom of the shower, legs up the wall in Viparita Karani, weeping into my damp and knotted bird-nest of hair*. Surrounded by a steady stream of tiny droplets, cocooning me in a warm embrace, my own salty tears mimicking their waterfall, I realised I am fragile.
I can admit to more trial and heartbreak in my short existence thus far than many would come across in a lifetime - and I understand that, this is my life story and I wouldn't want it any other way. This life has shaped and formed me into the person I am. Yet, it was in that moment of relentless tears that I realised, I am not yet at peace with my past. I understand it and accept it, for it is the past and there is no undoing, but my future is mine to own.
I am unsure how to be truly at peace with all that has hurt and broken me, though something within tells me that beginning here - with the words in my mind and a blank page before me -healing will come. From a supportive and insightful community, healing will come.
Healing will come. Breathe. Healing, will come.
xx
*Now try getting that image out of your head. My apologies.
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Laying Bare is a collection of my most heartfelt emotions and inner thoughts. An raw recount of my past or a glimpse into my dreams for our future.
Fear is shed, honesty uplifted and love is shared, in abundance.
The shower is a safe place to cry. It is a place where you are alone with streams of healing water. You hurt no one if you scream silently in the shower. Scream at the unfairness of life, at the disappointments and failures you are feeling. Shower tears can be hidden from the most astute observer as the water washes away all traces of the sadness that has spent itself and is now down the drain with the water that helped wash it away.
ReplyDeleteCleansing and healing. Thank you, beautiful lady xx
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